I took this picture with my GoPro at the end of August off the island of Langkawi on a scuba diving trip. I think it describes the first 1/3 of my senior year perfectly. It may make no sense- but I’d like to look back on this someday, so I’ll share anyways.
First of all, as I’m taking the boat out to this island, its a bumpy ride. This is by no means the main event, but I’m still thoroughly enjoying the scenery and people watching. We’re called up to the deck and tested on our knowledge of scuba tanks and setup. I fake it, and I kinda know how to set up my tank, but not really. I have to ask for help, but I still pass.
We get on the smaller boat, and soon were out above the reef. Its go time. This is what I’ve come so far for. I hop in the water and I check myself. Something is a little wrong, my tank is broken. I cant find the right level in the water. I’m bobbing from high to low and right when I think I have found a balance, I move again. My ears are throbbing. I stop to look at my instructor while I suppress my panic and he comes to help.
Turns out I’m gonna be okay. I breathe a little slower and look around. OH MY GOD. Its like a dream. Everything is so beautiful and although there were mishaps I still made it. It was not a perfect journey but it made me appreciate the destination that much more. My only goal is to stay calm and soak it all in while I can.
Visibility is good- not great. I know what could pop up but I know better then to make any serious predictions.
My tank is still broken, but I have enough experience now to know I can adapt. Its a game of balance- sometimes I have it and suddenly its gone. Our second dive the same thing happens, except this time I refuse to panic.
I feel so proud to have made it here. I have received so much help on this journey and I am forever in debt to those that helped me get to where I am. My dive instructor literally had to carry me for parts of the dive, but when I have my bearings I break free. I have put in work and taken advantage of the help given to me. I am swimming.
There were a lot of things that I did not expect to happen this year (and on this dive trip to Malaysia), but these changes like others in my years before have only made me stronger. I’m gonna continue making my best effort to just soak it all in.
Paige Hoel 